kanyounot | voicemail;

[ Kanan is - well, he's back to meditating a lot after his mini-bender on Thanksgiving night. He realized he doesn't handle hangovers well anymore, so he should probably stay sober, no matter how much he misses his family.

And it's pretty quiet in the shelter at this time of the evening - not many kids staying the night, the rest have gone home. He tilts his head at the familiar voice. ]

Bodhi. In here.

[ He's alone in the meditation room, at least. ]

[ He's looking around, trying to spot the differences from when this place had belonged to Cassian and the way it was now when Kanan calls out. ]

Hey. I hope I'm not bothering you.

[ When he'd been back at the Base, his two options were coming here, and going out and drinking himself stupid. He'd chosen the former, but it didn't mean the later was off the table after this. ]

D'you mind if I stay a bit?

[ His first thought is that Bodhi might be here to talk about Poe or his outburst the other night, something along those lines. He's prepared to politely shut it down, but - it might not be necessary. Reaching out in the Force, just to get a read on him, Bodhi seems... well, preoccupied, to say the least. Upset, maybe.

Kanan frowns a little. ]

Sure, you can stay as long as you want. Did something happen that I should know about?

Thanks. [ In the last few days, he'd nearly forgot the Thanksgiving fiasco that had caused all of this. He shakes his head, then remembers. ] Oh, no. Nothing like before -- just.

[ Not sure where else to go and I didn't want to be alone. ]

It's not anything serious, at least not actively threatening to anyone at all. This one is... all on me.

Edited 2018-12-01 07:45 (UTC)

[ Kanan gives Bodhi an incredibly skeptical look. ]

It seems important enough that it upset you, and sent you here.

[ He doesn't think he would need to be Force-sensitive to feel the waves of agitation rolling off the other man. ]

[ He stares down at the floor for a long, long moment. It's probably best that he keep from avoiding mentioning Poe in all of this, knowing that he and Kanan aren't on good terms.

Even after that, he doesn't want him to think any worse of Poe. This wasn't his fault. ]

I, um. Ever told a good friend that you were in love with them, and they didn't... return the feeling? At least not in the same way? I can now say that I have.

[ Of course, Kanan is smart enough to suspect the friend he's talking about is Poe. The guy has already broken at least one other heart that Kanan is aware of, and he knows Bodhi considers him a close friend.

And while it's true that Kanan doesn't think much of Poe - he's thoughtless and clearly unable to consider the potential consequences of his actions on others - he's also not interested in badmouthing the guy, especially not to someone who clearly really likes him.

So he just shakes his head - no, he hasn't ever been in that situation, the only person he's ever had strong feelings for like that is Hera - and gives Bodhi a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. ]

Sorry to hear that. If they don't come around, I'd be willing to bet you anything someone here will appreciate everything you can offer. You're a good guy.

[ ... perhaps Bodhi underestimated how obvious it might be, given how close he and Poe were with one another.

Kanan's words aren't wrong, but don't inspire any confidence or comfort. It's the truth, that he could meet someone else next week, or next month. Or he could be ported out to meet his demise. It didn't matter to him that someone might feel that way.

And, he thought a little bit petulantly: he didn't want anyone else. He wanted Poe to return his feelings, but since that ship had sailed, he'd currently settle for having things be the way they were before and not being so miserable about it. ]

I suppose so.

[ He knows that's probably not what Bodhi wants to hear - there probably isn't much of anything that Kanan could say to make him actually feel better right now - but he'll do his best to be honest, at least. ]

It's okay to feel like crap. Give yourself however much time you need, and feel whatever you're feeling.

[ Kanan really should get better at taking his own advice. ]

And don't let it make you believe you're not worthy of love or affection. You are.

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