kanyounot | denial river inbox;

Knowledge she possessed and I did not. [ Oh, sure not his best moment but he's not letting Kanan have that. ] Something she has much right to hold contempt for me.

Yet, here we are.

Mara will be up in thirty. Anything else?

And she definitely holds a lot of contempt for you.

[ He always gets to hear exactly how much, after Hera's had to spend time with the guy. ]

I'm just saying you're lucky I was in a coma for a while and that Ezra took you on that deep space adventure with the purgils - how did you like that, by the way? I heard there were tentacles involved.

Again, you're not telling me anything I don't already know.

[ The walls are still pretty thin, he has a pretty good idea. ]

More eventful than being comatose.

Edited 2018-03-13 22:40 (UTC)

Still mad about your pet project getting wrecked. I mean, you had to have already known by then that the Empire was stuffed full of incompetents more interested in advancing their own status than actually playing the long game. Pryce would've blown up so much more than that fuel depot for the chance to kill a Jedi.

That "pet project" being revisited thanks to the efforts of myself and Syndulla? [ Swing an' a miss! ] I understand you're still a little heated about what transpired at the fuel depot.

Still, you must not have much else to do if trying to get a rise out of me is all that seems to occupy your time.

Yeah but this time it's not going to oppress and kill innocent people. Thrawn, sometimes a guy just has to shit talk. You can at least try to play along.

Oh? Well, forgive the confusion. I wasn't aware this was anything less than-

[ Thrawn cuts himself off. When he speaks again, his voice is lower with the tension of something straining to hear something beneath background noise. ]

Quiet, do you hear-

[ It was almost imperceptible, but there the faintest sound that was unmistakably a muffled cry. Followed by the slightly louder thud of something heavy being thrown against a wall from another room. ]

Mara. [ Thrawn was indecipherable as ever, but there was an undeniable strain in that single word. ]

[ Kanan, on his end, goes very still. He doesn't hear anything immediately - but he can sense it. A turmoil, a - disturbance. ]

I'm on my way.

[ All differences put aside immediately for the sake of the child's safety and well-being. ]

[ Kanan had the door code along with Hera. Any other situation would have strongly dissuade one from handing over a former enemy literally an open opportunity. This was far removed from 'any other situation.'

The entrance into the apartment broke off into a high-ceiling room at the end of a short hall. Thrawn was there waiting, with Mara, on one of the long couches of the circular receiving room. ]

Nightmares had hunted Mara since she had been found on that derelict ship. Kanan wouldn't need to see to hear the way she panted; out of breath and coming down off hyperventilation. Half-moon skin breaks dotted Thrawn's wrist where she gripped him vice-like through the worst of. For the blind, it carried through the clipped tension in Thrawn's voice. ]

They aren't getting worse, but they aren't getting better.

[ Mara shivered from the tight ball she curled into in his lap, staring out at nothing but face tense. For once seeming to commit to the role of caregiver, Thrawn was running a hand in smalls circles along her back. ]

Have a care, she is known to get...claustrophobic.

[ Kanan moves easily enough with his cane - orienting himself is not difficult, not after years of blindness. Of having to rely on his other senses to get him around.

He's kneeling at their side in a moment, not touching Mara, but holding out his hand. ]

Mara. Brave one. If you want to take my hand, I'll try to help you. Do you trust me?

[ At first, Mara was just catatonic. Kanan could've just as well shouted acapella the entire orchestral accompaniment to Squid Lake; still getting the same glass-eyed stare into nothing.

Thrawn leaned forward, and whispered something in Mara's ear. The language wasn't Basic but had a rolling lilt to it. Indistinct and entirely their own in that moment.

At that, her attention seemed to drift back out of the fog. A tiny hand that trembled slightly retracted from the ball she had curled herself into, and eased into Kanan's proffered one. ]

You caught me at a bad time. [ Mara said, hoarsely. ]

[ If someone had told Kanan even a month ago that Thrawn of all people would adopt a child and clearly care for her, he would've laughed his ass off about it. Absurd.

And yet, here we are. And Kanan can't deny the undercurrents here. He can't not be aware of the emotions Thrawn feels for the girl. ]

Yeah, we all have our moments, brave one.

[ He lets himself smile - just a little, just a faint, encouraging twitch of his lips, clasping her hand gently. And through that connection, he channels the Force - sends calming, soothing, healing - everything else falling away in his focus on Mara. There's a darkness inside her but he intends to shine a light on it, if he can. If only so that she can know herself fully. But for now - for now, he intends only to calm and soothe. ]

[ Neither would have Thrawn since those months building up to Jakku, but here was strong evidence against that. Jarrus was free to believe whatever he wished, just as Thrawn was willing to deny a lot more. The former Grand Admiral brought into his life a distraction at best, a liability at worst.

One he smoothed away sweat matted hair as she sat till shivering in his lap. The tremors started to fade; whatever the Jedi was doing seemed to be working. That too-old flippant humor to cover up her perceived failings peeking out. Even if it wasn't genuine. ]

I hope that's not my nickname now. [ Mara laughed, but it was forced and reedy. ]

Anything? [ Thrawn asked as he let her slump to one end of the couch.

Mara caught the meaning of the question and worried her lip before saying, to Kanan - ]

Just...whatever I remember is always the same - I'm looking at Endor from above. Then, it's cold. And bad.

[ Thrawn even looked a shade nonplussed. ]

You were never anywhere near Endor.

Edited 2018-03-15 01:59 (UTC)

[ Kanan gives her a little smile. ]

I could always call you red, since Jace is a green bean.

[ And someone (Hera) has obviously given Kanan a description of Mara by this point. He gives her hand another affectionate squeeze. ]

I've felt that coldness before, too. It's really scary. I'm sorry you had to experience it. Is there anything else you can remember from the dream? It's okay if not.

Inventive. [ Mara and Thrawn answered him in unison.

But even if she didn't outwardly show it, Mara loosened up considerably. Touched by the idea of being given something so personal as a nickname. However small the gesture and deeply rooted in Kanan's almost instinctual desire to draw in strays.

Mara frowned again at the request. Shaking her head after trying to navigate her way through the sleepy fog hanging heavy over her now conscious mind. ]

No...do you we try meditating? [ She looked to Thrawn for confirmation, who just shrugged and said, ]

That would be between the two of you.

[ Kanan just smiles faintly. Given who Thrawn is, he suspects Mara will need as much normalcy as she can get. He's prepared to do what he can for her - in every way possible. ]

It's up to you, if you think that might help. We can certainly give it a try. Or wait until tomorrow, if you'd rather try and sleep some more right now.

[ After a pause that seemed to carry into a short eternity, Thrawn simply nodded. Only moving to stand behind the seat; an unspoken assurance he would only be an observer. Mara seemed so keyed into that stability and sense of order that she didn't move a muscle until then.

Given the all clear, Mara slid off the couch and approached Kanan. ]

I want to now, [ Then, thinking through her words, ] Please.

Very well.

[ Having Thrawn nearby might be a help to Mara - but it's more liable to throw Kanan off. Not that he'll let it show or anything - heaven forbid. ]

Remember what I taught you. Let go, and reach out, find the connections.

[ Thrawn was little more than a phantom off to the corner as he relinquished control of the situation to Kanan. Not the easiest thing to do, but he wasn't so prideful he couldn't admit something was beyond his ken.

Mara was an easy-going student when she was open to a lesson. Easing herself into the crouching position of a Jedi prepared to be deep in thought for an indeterminate amount of time.

Closing her eyes, her breathing started to even out and steady to something slow, almost drowsy. Relaxing until her body felt like it was sloughing off; a weight easing off her shoulders as he mind drifted into a wide ocean of oblivion. ]

I see...Endor, again. It's just really far away.

[ Kanan, too, settles himself in. Instead of centering himself, however, he reaches out to Mara, strengthening the connection between them first and foremost. ]

Do you know why you're seeing it?

[ Aside from the obvious. Maybe that's all it is - or maybe there's something else going on. All possibilities should be explored. ]

[ Mara started small; feeling the rush of blood that was her own heart beat. Reaching out from that to catch a glimpse of one, then another. The Force was a riot of color behind her shut eyelids as life pulsed strongly around her. Dialing back the din by focusing solely on Kanan. ]

I see...a hall.

[ The image had that sense of floating unreality to it, but it was clear. A glossy black corrdior that seemed to stretch to eternity. ] And...

[ From the very maw of that endless darkness, hiding in a bleak shadow at its central most point...eyes. Sallow and sickly but sharp, hiding a penetrating intelligence as their yellow cast burned into her.

Mara felt her heart skip a beat. An instinctive reaction to something inevitable she couldn't voice. It came swift as a bone-white hand slithered out from the shadows. Grasping for her as a raspy, rage filled voice boomed- ]

YOU WILL KILL L-

[ Mara screamed. ]

Edited 2018-03-20 01:32 (UTC)

[ That darkness again. The cold of it, and it so very quickly threatens to engulf Mara's warm little light. Kanan reaches out, thinking perhaps he can fight it, or at least lend some of his strength to her so she can resist, but -

But it's there, buried deep inside her, and it bats his attempts aside like they're nothing, and yet the force of it is enough to physically knock him back, breaking their connection, and he gasps as if someone had just wrapped fingers around his throat and squeezed. ]

Mara. Mara. Come back. Listen to me. Come back.

[ For her part, Mara was just letting herself go along with the usual flow of the vision. Driftwood running down stream with no say in the direction of its tide. Kanan reached in the icy waters, fishing her out just before the worst came.

She does listen, for once. Catching herself with her hands as she tumbles forwards as if something pushed her...or cut her loose. Shivering again, but looking no worse for wear. ]

What did you see? [ Thrawn asked mildly. Standing off to the side with his posture rigid. Showing he was willing to be an observer but would intervene at a moment's notice. ]

[ Kanan rests a hand gently on Mara's back, catching his breath himself. ]

Just the residual influence of a Sith Lord.

[ He worries for the child. Not because he thinks she's dangerous - because he's afraid she'll never feel comfortable in her own skin. He will hopefully teach her to control that inner darkness, keep it from consuming her, but will she ever believe herself free of it? ]

[ Blinking, Thrawn shook his head in disbelief. Not a reaction most could coax out of him. ]

"Just the residual influence of a Sith Lord." [ He echoes back, not sure if he was missing some crucial context where it concerned the Force. Or Kanan was just being flippant in the face of dire circumstances and this was his default approach to such things. Wonderful.

Mara bit her lip to stifle a whimper, but she was evening out along with Kanan. Pushing to her knees and slowly making her way back to the couch. Feeling boneless as her little body climbed on, nearly collapsing. ]

That doesn't explain Endor. [ Thrawn said, frowning. ]

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